If you’re a fan of Buffy The Vampire Slayer or just kick ass women in general, you probably are a fan of Amber Benson already. Sky rocketing into fame for her role as ‘Tara MacClay’- the girlfriend of ‘Willow’ in Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Vampire series in the 90’s, Amber’s role was groundbreaking at the time as very few shows featured same sex relationship representation. Crazy how that was in our lifetime, huh? And like, only a few years ago? We may have had tamagotchi’s but it’s like we were still cavemen. And some people are still still choosing to live in that dimension *scratches head.
Amber and I met at my sister’s wedding at a delightfully kitsch Elvis Chapel in Las Vegas years ago. She’s infinitely cooler and more beautiful in person than you can imagine, but what’s really kick ass about Amber is how she’s navigating her life and career as not only an actress, but as a director, producer, WRITER and advocate of vulnerable human beings!
I don’t know about you but I’m so bored with commercial streaming services. But sign me up for a foreign or indie film any minute of the day. I personally loved Amber in a little indie film called ‘Dust Up’.
You can watch it HERE (for free!) on streaming platform PLEX. The Independent Critic says of Amber’s performance in the film:
‘The film’s biggest name is likely Amber Benson, whom most of America knows from her time on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I, on the other hand, will always treasure her fantastic performance in the vastly underseen indie film Simple Things, where she played the mother of a baby with spina bifida living in a mountain town. Benson arguably has the biggest challenge here as she possesses what may very well be the film’s only semi-normal character. Benson’s Ella is a loyal wife and mother living in a rather demented world and having markedly demented things going on all around her. Benson’s task is to turn Ella into a normal woman in an abnormal world. She nails it.’ #SWOON
I was so thrilled when Amber agreed to be interviewed to support my new venture with this blog where I explore people from all walks of life, their psychology, perspectives and ways of living and coping to help other people open their minds and realise they aren’t alone in navigating things. There’s like 8 billion of us wearing these meat suits and trying to put one foot in front of the other, with our own set of challenges ❤
Karleigh: Hiiiiii Amber Benson! Let’s cut straight to the chase. I’ve got a bunch of questions and we’re gonna get deeeep. What are you inspired by at the moment?
Amber: Oh hiiii! I’m inspired by the people who get up every day and make a commitment to activism. Calling their congresspeople, filing lawsuits, standing up for the Immigrant and Trans communities. When things feel bleak, they just keep going and never give up.
Karleigh: What’s your proudest achievement in your life?
Amber: Learning to set boundaries in work and in my personal relationships.
Karleigh: Which role did you enjoy playing the most?
Amber: It’s a tie. Ella McShane in the film King of The Hill or Tara Maclay in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Karleigh: *makes a note to watch King of The Hill* How many books have you written and which one is your favourite?
Amber: I’ve written, I think, eleven novels. The Witches of Echo Park is probably my favourite.
Karleigh: *knods, knowing its in her bookcase and it’s wonderful!* What’s your writing process and do you have any tips for any unpublished authors?
Amber: I just treat writing like a 9-5 job. I go and sit at coffee shops with my other writer friends. We are all working on different projects and we encourage and support each other. My advice to up and coming writers is always: Just write. Just sit down and put words on the page. Don’t judge yourself in the moment. Just get the story out. Then you can go back and revise.
Karleigh: Okay thank you, that’s great advice, but I will probably keep resisting for some reason and procrastinate. Let’s change the subject! What’s your Myers Briggs personality type?
Amber: Eek. I have no idea!
Karleigh: That’s okay! If you ever get bored there’s an online quiz. It’s really been an eye opening introduction to understanding myself. There’s 16 personality types. My personality type is ‘The Campaigner’ which finally made sense as to why I was donating my pocket money to training guide dogs as an 8 year old and hosting ‘donate blood for my birthday!’ parties in my teens. Do you know what your Human Design Type is?
Amber: I have no idea what that even is – haha!
Karleigh: That’s okay! Google that too, it’s like, mind blowing. Alright, now to the real nitty gritty human being stuff. How would you describe your life balance? What would you like to do more of?
Amber: I try and do things that move me creatively and make me happy. Writing isn’t just a job for me. It’s something I enjoy doing and would continue to do even if no one ever published another word of mine. I do a lot of cooking and that gives me a feeling of immediate gratification – which I don’t get with my work. Getting a movie made or a book published takes forever. I would like to travel more!
Karleigh: I’m so glad you said cooking! I find creating a meal is like…a sensible artistry for the time poor who can’t create real art. Like every new day is an opportunity to become a better version of yourself, every snack or meal is a new method of creating whether its ingredients or how you style or prep or eat the food, there’s so many moments of making or eating that you can be present with. I wish I’d been more present with that when I was younger. If you could chat with your younger self, what advice would you give yourself?
Amber: Don’t give a shit what other people think about you. Just follow your bliss and hold your boundaries!
Karleigh: Ahhh yes, this is the wisdom of the forties, right? What was the best advice you ever received?
Amber: Persist.
Karleigh: Chah. Do you partake in any regular self-care?
Amber: I exercise and go on long walks. I go to therapy every week. I like to say that therapy is the gift I give myself.
Karleigh: oh my god YES. That’s actually on my dating requirements list. If you don’t go to therapy, we can’t date! I really respect people who invest the time and energy to unpack and become ever evolving better versions of themselves. There’s literally no con in therapy – unless you like hanging onto old patterns and toxic people huh? So many pros! And now with so many professionals giving advice on instagram and tik tok it’s free personal development for those who can’t afford to access it in person. Did you grow up with any traditions that you continue as an adult?
Amber: Not any traditions, per say, but I was taught to have empathy and to be kind. I try to continue that in my adult day to day life.
Karleigh: What is your ancestral make up? Do you resonate with any of your ancestry? Is it important to you?
Amber: My dad is Jewish and that’s how I was raised. I’m not religious, but I will always be culturally Jewish.
Karleigh: Okay so what’s your take on religion and spirituality?
Amber: I feel like there’s probably more out there than what we can experience with our five senses, but as far as heaven and hell and all that jazz…? I just can’t get behind some creator sitting on high, letting all this human and planetary suffering happen and not intervening.
Karleigh: What was your first memory?
Amber: Being in my crib and shaking the bars because I wanted out.
Karleigh: Understandable. Cribs are for clean laundry you can’t be bothered to put away, as far as I’m concerned!
Stay tuned for Part 2 of Amber’s interview.
with love,
Karleigh x
Swings & Roundabouts 